make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
