i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
