after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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