Sry I called you an 8
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
