Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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