i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
