I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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