3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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