I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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