i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
