The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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