just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
