I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
