break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
