Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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