if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
