That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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