party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
