Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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