great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
