He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
