I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
