Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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