Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
