I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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