too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
