How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
