Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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