I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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