This girl is more easily done than said...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
is it fun? or sober?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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