also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sext me about skeletons
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
