What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
