uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
