remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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