I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
