Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
