he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
