Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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