I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
