i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
