I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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