Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
