i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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