We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
