he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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