just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
