there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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