i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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