First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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