On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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