im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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